: The Pon :

I put my fingers in between her legs and felt the string.

"Oh no, Aunty Flow," I said. "That’s ok," she replied and right then in there to my astonishment, she pulled it out and laid it next to my bed. For a split second I was surprised but that feeling was quickly overwhelmed by my need to get laid.

And then the next morning upon lifting the toilet lid, I saw the pink evidence floating in my toilet.

: Oh Shit :

In my rush to get back to work and in my fear that I was holding up the single men’s toilet in our office, I guess I didn’t wipe very well. 2 hours later, I felt the stickiness on my bottom and low and behold upon checking I discovered the tire tracks on my white underwear leading away from the scene of the crime.

I tried washing it off but to no avail. So now I’m sitting here in my cube with a mound of toilet paper stuffed between my cheeks, nothing but a few layers of one-ply shielding me from yesterday’s dinner.

Some things shouldn't be rushed.