In response to the question: Do We need a Better Asian Man...
http://www.thefighting44s.com/archives/2008/08/18/sexual-politics-and-the-better-asian-man/
Dear F44:
I have been thinking about your posting a lot and in response to your question, I have to say Yes, we Need a Better Asian Man.
I am an Asian male in my early 30’s. I’m educated, extroverted and am blessed with “pretty boy” looks, the combination of which has brought me the good fortune of often being on the receiving end of interested women without needing to resort to strong-arm tactics. Most of these women have been Asian. And while my circumstances (i.e. growing up with a lot of Asian friends and living in cities with decent Asian populations) have no doubt impacted this fact, I cannot help the feeling that there is a glass ceiling between me and non-Asian women.
I considered that perhaps this thing I have felt is just me. This thing, a feeling I can only describe as a combination of insecurity and inferiority around non-Asian women. I figured it was something conjured up inside of me created through a long-suppressed memory of a long-time elementary school crush with little brown-haired Jeanine that went unrequited. For much of my life, I ignored such events, largely being satisfied with a consistent flow of compliments from girls about being “pretty good looking”. Except after a while, I started to notice that “pretty good looking” was followed by, “for an Asian guy.”
Lately, I have been thinking that I’m not alone. Like most Asian males in this country, I am well-attuned to the lack of Asian males being portrayed as leading alpha-men or sexual objects in Hollywood. Sure we have our traditional bad-ass martial art heroes but I have yet to come across alluring pictures of Jackie Chan or Jet Li on the cover of a lifestyle or teen magazine, not that I’ve been looking that hard. But has it really been 13 years since Russell Wong made it into People’s 50 Most Beautiful People? And wtf do I know this?
In fact, it has become crystal clear to me that I am indeed, not alone. A focus group of one is one thing. A discussion with amongst male friends is another. But this thing has cycles. There is something in this generation of young Asian males that is different from the previous. Perhaps it can be explained as a North American cultural gap having been created between the first generation Asian males and our parents or a perhaps our silence has reached a boiling point and we have reacted with a newfound sense of entitlement…an equal opportunity right to hold the spotlight as fairly as other male races have. In other words, we want to be just as universally sought over as Ashton Kutcher or Denzel Washington or Enrique Iglesias.
In my opinion, it has become even tougher to be an Asian Male these days when our counterparts, Asian Females have come unto their own. Mainstream media and porn categories aside, the popularity and desirability of Asian Females by all male races can be felt at the bars, in classified ads, on the Internet, walking down the street and everywhere else we seek out the opposite sex. I don’t have scientific proof but I can’t help but feel like we’re fishing in a more crowded pond than ever. A Caucasian colleague of mine explained to me once that “The Asian woman is the new trophy wife.” Which made me wonder, so what are we?
To have our sisters so desired, yet to be so undesired ourselves takes a toll on a man. I don’t care if you’re Asian, Black, Brown, White or Green. It sometimes feels like the game is rigged against us.
So it is with this sense of empathy that I applaud A Better Asian Man. After reading a few posts, I have to admit that it took awhile to suspend my disbelief that these PUA tactics and code words could be coming from Asian Males. As far as I’m concerned, we’re not prone to organize ourselves behind causes like this. But despite what one might call it – immature, vengeful or Ross Jeffries inspired – it is still a voice or a rallying cry…the very thing that our tribe could use more of.
Need is a strong word. So to elaborate on my preliminary answer, I believe that we do not necessarily Need a Better Asian man, but what we do Need is the spirit behind it.
Dear F44:
I have been thinking about your posting a lot and in response to your question, I have to say Yes, we Need a Better Asian Man.
I am an Asian male in my early 30’s. I’m educated, extroverted and am blessed with “pretty boy” looks, the combination of which has brought me the good fortune of often being on the receiving end of interested women without needing to resort to strong-arm tactics. Most of these women have been Asian. And while my circumstances (i.e. growing up with a lot of Asian friends and living in cities with decent Asian populations) have no doubt impacted this fact, I cannot help the feeling that there is a glass ceiling between me and non-Asian women.
I considered that perhaps this thing I have felt is just me. This thing, a feeling I can only describe as a combination of insecurity and inferiority around non-Asian women. I figured it was something conjured up inside of me created through a long-suppressed memory of a long-time elementary school crush with little brown-haired Jeanine that went unrequited. For much of my life, I ignored such events, largely being satisfied with a consistent flow of compliments from girls about being “pretty good looking”. Except after a while, I started to notice that “pretty good looking” was followed by, “for an Asian guy.”
Lately, I have been thinking that I’m not alone. Like most Asian males in this country, I am well-attuned to the lack of Asian males being portrayed as leading alpha-men or sexual objects in Hollywood. Sure we have our traditional bad-ass martial art heroes but I have yet to come across alluring pictures of Jackie Chan or Jet Li on the cover of a lifestyle or teen magazine, not that I’ve been looking that hard. But has it really been 13 years since Russell Wong made it into People’s 50 Most Beautiful People? And wtf do I know this?
In fact, it has become crystal clear to me that I am indeed, not alone. A focus group of one is one thing. A discussion with amongst male friends is another. But this thing has cycles. There is something in this generation of young Asian males that is different from the previous. Perhaps it can be explained as a North American cultural gap having been created between the first generation Asian males and our parents or a perhaps our silence has reached a boiling point and we have reacted with a newfound sense of entitlement…an equal opportunity right to hold the spotlight as fairly as other male races have. In other words, we want to be just as universally sought over as Ashton Kutcher or Denzel Washington or Enrique Iglesias.
In my opinion, it has become even tougher to be an Asian Male these days when our counterparts, Asian Females have come unto their own. Mainstream media and porn categories aside, the popularity and desirability of Asian Females by all male races can be felt at the bars, in classified ads, on the Internet, walking down the street and everywhere else we seek out the opposite sex. I don’t have scientific proof but I can’t help but feel like we’re fishing in a more crowded pond than ever. A Caucasian colleague of mine explained to me once that “The Asian woman is the new trophy wife.” Which made me wonder, so what are we?
To have our sisters so desired, yet to be so undesired ourselves takes a toll on a man. I don’t care if you’re Asian, Black, Brown, White or Green. It sometimes feels like the game is rigged against us.
So it is with this sense of empathy that I applaud A Better Asian Man. After reading a few posts, I have to admit that it took awhile to suspend my disbelief that these PUA tactics and code words could be coming from Asian Males. As far as I’m concerned, we’re not prone to organize ourselves behind causes like this. But despite what one might call it – immature, vengeful or Ross Jeffries inspired – it is still a voice or a rallying cry…the very thing that our tribe could use more of.
Need is a strong word. So to elaborate on my preliminary answer, I believe that we do not necessarily Need a Better Asian man, but what we do Need is the spirit behind it.
posted by behindtheyellowcurtain at 5:01 PM
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